Do's and Don't part one

Asalaam alekum , as the Afghan say it, salaam! Things here are going well. We had back to school night yesterday and I had the majority of my students and parents come. We don't have an aditorium for meetins and such so the volleyball court was turned into this amazing outdoor meeting tent with rugs covering every inch of it and chairs and toshaks and a fabric tent overhead. It was really something to see. I'll see if I can find some pictures to show you. I got a request to share some of the culture in Afghanstan so I'd like to take a bit of time to do that. When I was getting ready to come here I recieved this packet that had all sorts of information in it so I'm going to copy and paste parts of that over the next couple days and of course, I'll throw my two sence in.

I thought I'd start with how to act in public. It's a lot more reserved that stateside.

FOR WOMEN

• In Afghan culture, the woman is the heart of the honor of the family. How she behaves and how she is treated sets the honor of the family. (so true)

• Avoid meeting men's eyes, except when bargaining with a shopkeeper or a taxi driver. (then you stare him down)
• Avoid sitting next to the opposite sex (other than your spouse), for example, in vehicles.
• Avoid laughing or speaking loudly. (many of us have had problems with this one)
• Avoid looking happy when speaking to men.
• Don’t shake hands with a man unless he offers his hand first (and even then, be careful!)
• Women greet women with a kiss (but rarely in a public place). (gimini crickets have I been kissed alot since moving here, personal space is NO issue between women!)

• In public always wear long trousers under your skirt/ dress. The part of your trousers (especially local tumbAns) from your knee to your waist is considered to be underwear i.e. you might prefer not to show it in public. When sitting always cover your knees! Take care that your clothes don't show through too much. When outside, wear a chAdar (big scarf) that covers the head and upper body.
• When sitting on a tOshak (floor mattress) don't stretch your legs straight out in front of you. Never lie down in public i.e. outside of your bedroom (unless you are sick!). (Your feet generaly are disgusting and no one wants to see all the dust and dirt on the them.)

• Be aware that you will be stared at in public. (ALL THE TIME! We've even had some men take pictures of us in our vehicle)
• Be restrained in your behavior toward male team members.

· In the bazaar: Be careful about laughing together in the streets or in the stores. It may be perceived as trying to attract the attention of men.

· Anticipate the men coming toward you and move out of their way. (I'm not so good about this one, I feel like they should accomidate a lady more than me accomidate them)

-This one wasn't in the packet, but it cracks me up..... women need to cover there hair if it is wet because it means that you've just had sex.

FOR MEN

• Generally more free than women.
• Local men may walk hand‑in‑hand with another man as an expression of friendship.
• Avoid looking at local women. (Afghan men are VERY protective of their women, doesn't matter what they do to them at home, if public no one elsean mess with them.)
• Never use a woman’s name in public.
• Don't ask male friends about their wives, daughters or other women.
• Be restrained in your behavior toward female team members. No public touching or hugging.

So there you go, Afghan culture part one. If I get to dubai for fall break I'll post some pictures for ya'll.

Lots of love,

Sarah